It’s bound to happen to even the best of bloggers at some point. The scathing comment. The critical email. The unwanted drama unfolding on your Facebook page.
How can you handle these situations gracefully, and ensure they don’t escalate?
Remember that people are likely to state things more strongly on the Internet. It’s so easy to honk that car horn when you can “hide” behind the wheel of your car, isn’t it? I truly believe the same is true on the Web.
Remember that it’s easy to misinterpret what someone wrote. Was that reader really being rude – or sarcastic? Wherever possible, give the benefit of the doubt.
Don’t be afraid to delete! I recently received an off-topic comment on one of my posts and approved it. I opted to respond to the reader, hoping she’d get my subtle clues to keep things on track. She then commented again, and I responded even more strongly. All told, I spent over an hour responding to her comments and later, exchanging emails with her. We both ended up hurt. This could have been avoided.
Consider writing a comment policy. I think there are comments most of us won’t allow – such as racist remarks or personal attacks. But consider the gray areas, too – for instance, will you delete comments that are off-topic? Self-promote?
Take a breather! Don’t respond to a spiteful email or comment on the fly. Draft that email or comment, if you must, but then walk away. Go for a run, sleep on it, come back to it later. You might feel differently.
Seek perspective. I’m not advocating gossip, but seek others’ opinion if you’re not sure you’re “seeing” things correctly. For instance, you may ask a fellow blogger to review the comment thread that’s giving you grief and ask for their advice. Be open to the possibility you could be wrong.
Accept not everyone will like you. No matter how much work I put into my blog, some people won’t like it. It’s the truth. But don’t waste time trying to respond to the critics. Cater to the people that like your blog, not to the people that don’t. You will be more productive and the final result, more effective.
It’s easy to let unwanted criticism and drama sap precious energy from our lives. Don’t let it. Know when to engage, and when to walk away. And remember, most of the people that read your blog regularly? They love you.
Angela is a stay-at-home mom of two adorable kiddos, Keefe and Piper. In addition to being a full-time mom, she’s a freelance writer and blogs about money-saving deals at The Coupon Project. She works at managing her emotions and keeping her sanity intact every day.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks! I have loved these posts!
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Angela Reply:
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:24 pm
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Angela Reply:
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:25 pm
http://thecouponproject.com/disclosure
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On one post, a fellow told me that I had a great blog but more content would be nice. I felt bad in a way, as I had worked quite a bit on that post and thought it provided plenty of content.
I left it- hey it’s his opinion.
But if it’s an attack at one of my readers, it get’s trashed.
I am happy to say I haven’t had that many problems with nasty comments……..
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Angela Reply:
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:29 pm
However there is a difference between:
“The posts you’ve shared about ______ have not been helpful.”
VS
“You are a lame blogger and you have nothing special to offer you $!#$@$!”
I think we can agree most us would delete the second type of comment! The first comment, while hurtful, I would not personally delete from my site. However, I might consider what’s been said and wait to see if any other reader leaves a follow-up comment.
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Words to live by Anglea. I strive to always assume that people have the best intentions. How often have you said or typed something that was sincere, but was read or heard as sarcastic? I try really hard not to assume malice in comments. Anything typed that isn’t glowing with smiley faces and LOL’s can come off harsh when it isn’t. That being said it is still difficult sometimes to know what to respond to, what to approve and not respond to and when to hit the delete button.
To Judy’s comment, I don’t know if it is the norm. I don’t do it unless the poster requests it in the post. We all have to self-promote or we would have no traffic, but I don’t care for someone piggy-backing on my post that I worked so hard on. When I feel I have something relevant to add to someone else’s post, I sometimes send the writer an email. For example over the holidays one blogger had a list of holiday specific freebies online and I had a list of holiday specific freebies in-stores. I sent her and email and we cross-promoted each other’s list as a further reference.
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Angela Reply:
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:30 pm
It’s important to note – these are all lessons I am currently working on in my own life.
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