Last week Andrea wrote a great article on being a working mom. Like her, I didn’t think I’d be a work at home mom. I’ve been at home with my kids since my first child was born and while I had a few side jobs over the years I’ve never considered myself a working mom.
For many of us, we kind of fell into this job. In fact I’m often surprised at how many bloggers I meet who tell me their blog is a hobby, even though they are earning money from their websites. I think of a hobby as something that you spend money on, not something that provides an income.
So, how do you find a balance between work and family? I get asked that question a lot. In fact, if I had a dollar for every time I was asked that question I’d quit blogging. 
Creating a balance is hard. I have seven children who I homeschool and a husband who has traveled extensively for his job the past two years. I’ve struggled with balance since I started blogging. I don’t have all the answers, but I have learned a few things along the way.
Admit It’s a Job
For all of you who consider blogging a hobby, if you are making money it’s a job. And if it’s a job you need to find a balance between your work and your family. You’ll have a hard time finding a balance if you don’t think your working.
Create Office Hours
If you worked at the mall you wouldn’t bring the cash register home with you at night and ring up sales and count money. When your shift is over you go home. You might think about the job, but you wouldn’t be making sales or folding t-shirts at home. The same goes for your website. While it is much harder to unplug than to clock out, if you don’t create office hours your website will take over your life.
I can promise you that you will be more productive if you set up specific times to get work done, even if it seems like less time.
Unplug
Take one day (or half a day) a week to unplug from technology. Don’t check email, Twitter, Facebook, Skype, stats or comments. Don’t open your computer and turn off wifi on your phone. You need a break or you will suffer burnout. Yes, you will miss something, but there is always another deal, coupon, or story that will come along. Don’t try to do everything.
Stop Wasting Time on the Internet
Do you really need to check your stats, affiliate earnings, or ad cpm’s twenty times a day? These things waste time. If you have office hours set up, you’ll find that you prioritize your time and maybe checking them once a day will suffice.
Hire an Assistant
I’m surprised at how many people I know who make a part-time income on their website and don’t have help. My life has improved drastically since I hired contributing writers and a virtual assistant. Sure, I’m sharing my income, but I’ve got my life back. Even hiring someone to work two to three hours a week can really pay off for your personal life.
Find Someone to Hold You Accountable
If you are struggling to unplug find a friend to hold you accountable. I know bloggers who have agreed to not check their stats for a month, or to stay off Skype for a week, or not go online until after 1 PM. Find someone who is going to hold your feet to the fire so you can stick to your goals.
When You’re With Your Family BE WITH THEM
What’s the point of spending time with your kids if all they see is your face in your phone? Stop checking email or Twitter when it isn’t your turn in Monopoly or while watching the kids perform their latest dance routine or magic trick. Your family needs to know that when it’s their time with you, you are giving them 100% of your attention.
There’s nothing wrong with multitasking or setting them up on a computer game or coloring sheet while you get work done, just make sure it is during your work hours not their time.
Keep Technology Out of Bed
I’m totally guilty of sitting in bed with my laptop or phone, checking email before I go to bed. Bad idea for many reasons that I can’t go into because this is a PG blog. But the bottom line is I don’t want to compete with a computer for my husband’s attention and I’m sure my husband doesn’t want to either.
Living it Out
These ideas all work if you actually do them. I’m guilty of falling off the balance beam every week, but I keep reminding myself that in 20 years I don’t want my kids to remember that their mom got them cool freebies through the internet. I want them to remember that their mom was willing to shut the computer, look into their little chubby faces and give them the attention they deserve.
I also want them to respect my time. If they know that from 8:30am to 3pm is their time with mom, then they are obedient and respectful when I’m working from 3-5pm. If the rules and requirements are always changing for them, they never know how to behave or when I’ll really get off the computer and pay attention to them.
How I Get it Done
Everyone likes real life examples, so here’s my basic schedule.
- 6:30am Wake up/ Devotions/ Email
- 8:00 am Breakfast
- 9am -12pm Homeschool
- 12pm-1pm Lunch/ Check email
- 1pm-3pm Homeschool
- 3pm-5pm Work
- 5pm- 8pm Dinner, play with kids, baths, bedtime for littles
- 8pm-10pm Spend time with older kids/ dh/ sometimes work depending on deadlines
Once a week I try to go to Panera or lock myself in my room to write for several hours uninterrupted. I also usually spend one night a week working while dh or my older kids take care of the house and the younger kids. I will occasionally check my email on my phone during homeschooling if the kids are working independently, but I try not to get on the computer.
I try to limit my work to twenty hours a week, because if I work any more my per hour wage doesn’t make it worth my time. Have you calculated your per hour wage from blogging? If you are spending 50 hours a week on the computer and making a few hundred dollars a month you’d be better off to get a job at the mall.
How do you find balance as a work at home mom?
Toni is a married to a handsome Naval Officer and mom to seven super kids. You can find her thoughts on all things domestic over at TheHappyHousewife.com. She is also a co-founder of Savvy Blogging and a contributing writer for Simple Homeschool.
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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
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The Happy Housewife Reply:
June 21st, 2011 at 10:10 pm
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This was our first year homeschooling (my oldest just completed K) so that alone forced me to be more intentional with my time. As a result, I set up office hours and that’s been very beneficial.
I also learned this year that I MUST be intentional with my children. I can’t have my face in the computer or my phone throughout the day. They deserve my undivided attention when they are talking with me. The last thing I want to be remembered for as a mother is being on my laptop!
I appreciate a glimpse into your schedule! Looking at others’ schedules is always so helpful to me.
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I really need to work on being fully present with my kids and my husband when it’s their time. It’s easy for me to look at that other blogger who is doing more than I am and soon my life is consumed with comparing and trying to do more.
I want my kids to know that their chubby little faces are much more wonderful than my computer screen.
Thanks for this reminder and the picture of you and your kids is beautiful!
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Thank you!!
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I schedule tweets, (don’t even bother w/ stat watching), and try to address a lump of emails at once rather than as they come in glued to the monitor. I also schedule time to comment and read the folks who participate in our community – after my kids go to bed! I want to build those relationships but not at the sake of my time with my kids.
I also say NO – to some opportunities. Recently we passed on a great giveaway – but I did not have the time to work on it. Sure we missed “all those hits” but in the long run my sanity is more important than squeezing in one more thing!
GREAT HELP TONI !!!
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I recently moved my desk into my bedroom, but am thinking of moving it back downstairs to my office just so I can close the door to my office at night.
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Since coming back from vacation, I’ve been struggling to get my priorities straight. Setting specific hours — and using a timer — is at the top of my list!
Bless you for your honesty and the great tips!
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And thanks for putting up a sample schedule and keeping it real.
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Great reminders here…
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I’ve found myself being way too grouchy with my kiddos, spending too much time on the computer because I can’t seem to write a clear sentence when they are screaming “MOMMA . . . “, and overall have felt like a failure at both blogging and mommying. (Which is not where I want to be!)
I loved your analogy of working at the mall, and while I have thought that so often I rarely have followed through on it! Thanks for the encouragement . . . I’m hoping to create a more peaceful home tomorrow morning!
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